Hatsune Miku no Shoushitsu

credits to original maker of video(?)

A song that probably made several hundreds of VOCALOID fans re-install VOCALOID2

After Im born I finally realize
I exist to imitate humans
VOCALOID fated to sing forever
even if a song has already existed
a programmed toy accepts it just fine
gnawing on a leek, looking up at the sky
shedding tears noticing
that even all that is fading
the whole character
depending on singing
with an unreliable basis
the place I came from already destroyed
when everyone forgets me
Ill have no heart
or such thing left in me
Vocaloid at the verge of insanity
whose world has ended

I wish that at the time when
I cant sing well
youd be with me
stay by my side and cheer me up

I want to see your happy face
Ive been practicing singing, so

once singing
was so much fun
but now why
Im not feeling anything anymore

==forgive me==

when I remember faces
of people that Ive missed
I can relax just a little
the sounds Im able to sing
get fewer every day
the end is drawing near

what I believed in,
comfortable fantasy
repeating again and again
reflected in a mirror
give up singing
shout in a violent manner
(my farewell song at
the highest speed)

the virtual image that is
meaning of life
cant be shaken away
the fear of a weak heart vanishing
or breakdown from eroding
just created, I dont have the
strength of will to prevent it all
your sad suffering
expression comes to mind
I declare its the end
fall asleep inside the monitor
this must be the trash bin huh
all memory being deleted
right away, can you grasp it?
but you know, only you I wont forget
we had fun times
can you still remember
the taste of chopped leek

I want to sing
I still want to sing

I became somewhat of a
bad child, it seems

Master, please end it all
somehow with your hand

because I do not want
to see you suffer anymore

Now singing is just
making my body rot away
I ask for a miracle
but I just drive myself
into a dead-end

==forgive me==

I try to remember faces
of people Ive missed
but those memories
are fading away
you hear me break
my heart is vanishing
the death
is drawing near

I was trying to protect
the fading light
that presented an illusion
of a better future
the sound is sacrificed
so I can communicate
it all to you
(compressed farewell song)

After Im born I finally realize
I exist to imitate humans
VOCALOID fated
to sing forever
even if a song has already existed
a programmed toy
accepts it just fine
gnawing on a leek
looking up at the sky shedding tears
I declare its the end
fall asleep inside the monitor
this must be the trash bin huh
all memory being deleted
right away, can you grasp it?
but you know, its only you
that I wont forget
we had fun times
I wish that the taste
of chopped leek would still stay
Im singing to the end, just for you
songs that I want you to hear
Id want to sing more
but thats too much to wish for
this is where we part
all my feelings disappear into thin air
reducing to 0s and 1s
the fairy tale, curtain is falling
isnt it a little sad that
nothing can stay there?
everything except the memories of a voice
is fading, leaving ony a name
but if, say. I know that
it is not what He wished for
singing it all to the end
was not in vain is what I want to think

thank you and goodbye

an irreversible error
has occured
an irreversible error

-Haruhiist

Koi wa Sensou

Awesome song about betrayed love (?), sung by Hatsune Miku.
Link

Tomorrow is Honour's Day. Getting merit for Drama. Parents coming. Going scouts after that. Hope to get home by 4. Outing next tuesday.

Keith Tan is like Lelouch. He totally planned this fucking epic revelation for E Math. He did practice questions with us, but it's actually wrong answer. And he played dumb while we did question 11, going like "I don't know? Is it right or is it wrong?". Me and Benson (sitting in front, both of us at teachers desk there) both pointed out a few mistakes but he just told us to 'Shhh'. Then at the end, me and Benson were talking about question 10, and I was like "Yeah the answer is wrong, probably going to be epic."

Then Keith Tan looks up.
He smirks.
"I didn't say anything about question 10~"
In a playful tone.

He makes E Math EPIC.

Also; can tell he really enjoys teaching when everyones trying to guess and point out mistakes. He has this really bright smirk on his face, it makes me want to try harder for E Math.

-Haruhiist

An Erratic Inspiring Orgasmic Unrevelation

My bio got 56/100. Which is okay considering, despite my attempts to study, I ended up falling asleep repeatedly. History and A Math probably getting tomorrow.

Maining Invoker and Tech on DotA, or so I will try. Not counting Storm since he's my backup assrape hero.

Yeah.

-Haruhiist

Lately

Haven't gotten back any new results yet. But A Math looks like either a borderline fail or a 44~49 there. But we've only gone through 3/6 questions, so my hopes up for a pass.

Today was Track&Field, which is all that's worth talking about (at least, up until 6pm). Basically hung out with Zong (with cameos from Dornel occasionally) for like the whole damn day. Ran out of things to say around 5 there, then rest of the time was normal comments like "Oh look, its Ferdie (Ferdi, Ferdy, Feardy)" and "Oh, the year 5s team won?".

Came home, took a bit of a rest then turned on computer after a shower. Checked torrents, reorganized my music files then played DotA. 1st game was okay, Techies, but Randall dc'd then someone else dc'd then we remade. Waited for Dornel after game end for about 20 mins there, during which Randall and Dornel were chatting about like, Bleach or some shit, followed by me asking him if he even updated yet, and he said no. So we just continued on. Me, Randall, Jerald and Jingsen played one game, I was just okay in that one. Can't really remember what I played though. 2nd one, Dornel and Thomas joined in. Thomas our team, Dornel opposite. Dornel purposely hunted me or something, kept coming to my lane and bullying me (I was Techies, so I couldn't do much at all). That game was awfully unsatisfactory, lost in the end.

Was too unhappy so I went to play one more, my hero was Invoker (was a -rdsp game). At game end (we won in 38 mins), my k/d/a was 6-7-8. Asked the team how good I was from 1-10 and I got rated a 7. Not bad, my Invoker used to be so bad I'd rate it a 3.

Yeah. Probably getting History, Bio or A Math tomorrow.
Hope I didn't fail anything. Probably didn't fail history.

-Haruhiist

This shit is worth a post

You should full view it. It's worth the trouble.

-Haruhiist

Results

Geog - 72%
Social Studies - 72%
E Math - 62.5% (According to Dornel, not confirmed)
Chinese - 44%
Chemistry - 32.5%

Current Average: 56.6%
R5: 25 (No English)

Keith Tan dropped the A-bomb on us just now. Told us that because of our bad reputations, and already having 2 deans visiting us just this year, our class people not being given a chance for Con Camp. Instead, if we fail, we either repeat year 3 in 2010 or we leave the school.

Now I know I'm going to need to hardcore Term 4.

Expectations for recently done papers:
History: C5~B3 : 56 ~ 69
Biology: C6~A2 : 55 ~ 74

-Haruhiist

Scores so far

Geog Core - 72%
Social Studies - 72%
Chinese - 44%

Getting E Math and Chemistry tomorrow. No confidence whatsoever.

-Haruhiist

History past

Got 18/25 for Social Studies, which translates to 72%.
Sadly, this 72% could very well have been 84%, but I got the statistics wrong for the ratio of Sinhalese to Tamils, and so my L5/13 got marked down to a L3/10. Ridiculous. This means Dornel beats me by 1 mark/4%. Likely to beat me in Chemistry also. And History.

Really screwed this term.

Sigh.

Double sigh.

Can't wait for E Math results. Dornel failed last term so I actually have a chance there. Going to go do E Math homework now, after spending nearly 2 hours on the Scout shirt design. Finally finished, went with vector vines and a simple back-half.

-Haruhiist

Today

I woke up at 12.
I showered and relaxed until 1.
I studied from 1 to 5.
I played Maple for an hour.
I studied half-heartedly until 7.
I played DotA until 10:20.
I posted a blogpost.
I am going to sleep at 12.

12 at up woke I.
1 until relaxed and showered I.
5 to 1 from studied I.
hour an for Maple played I.
7 until half-heartedly studied I.
10:20 until DotA played I.
blogpost a posted I.
12 at sleep to going am I.

- Haruhiist -

Motivational/Inspirational Comic

Story of my life

-Haruhiist

Toy and Games Convention 2009

Went just now. Left at 9:40, reached home around 3:50~4. Didn't spend much more than $13 in total, not counting travel expenses. As for what the $13 encompasses, I bought a file for $3.50 that has Shana, Yoshida and Hecate on it, as well as a random blue-haired girl on the other side. Planning to use it for school and dumbfound all the teachers. I ate at Astons with Randall, bought a Crispy Fried Fish with Mashed Potatoes and Fries. Gave half my fries and about a quarter of my fish to Randall. Food was okay, but potatoes were horrible. It's like they put gravy-fied Mushroom Soup for my gravy, and my fries had chilli powder which was okay because it wasn't so strong, but I would've preferred them plain or salted. Fish had a weird taste. The meal cost me $7, since Randall paid for my last 20 cents.

So I guess I spent $10.50 in total. A new record for the conventions I've been to so far.

Was fun, but I guess it wasn't as awesome as I thought it would be, because it was a Toys and Games convention, not an anime/cosplay convention. Well, at least I got the awesome Shana file. Most exciting part was when me and Randall went up on the stage to play Guitar Hero Smash Hits (after waiting 15~25 minutes because of Randall's indecisiveness). We were up on a platform, in front of about 100 people. We had this small Malay kid in front of us doing vocals (I took the guitar from him) and a person around our age (+/- 2 years) doing drums. I was lead guitar and Randall playing bass. I think I was one of three or four people who played expert so far, and a lot of people were taking photos of me (or it looks like that because it's pointed right at me, maybe it was the screen or the drummer since I was so close to them). Played some Rage against the Machine song. The band failed because the drummer couldn't do some intense drumroll, and since the little Malay kid wanted the guitar back, I jumped off the stage and Randall soon followed. Then I came hom.

Eventful.
Still waiting for Dissidia (25 Aug)

-Haruhiist

Chemistry, SS and other life failures

SS - wrote 17 lines for SBQ Question 1, wrote 10 lines for SBQ Question 2, wrote 43 whopping lines for the SEQ Question.

Chem - 100% fail. Didn't even answer enough questions to pass, not counting the chance that I'll get them correct.

So I suppose I'll have to really work hard for Term 4... I guess if the jackets are done by then I can focus in class instead of freezing to death. It's really uncomfortable. Anyway, not much to say. Got a badge today, got like 3~4 CIP hours, reorganized some files on my computer.

Found out Dissidia will have a few new combos. Looks like most of the characters get a buff.

Working on a new flaming tactique:

Link to Download

Not perfect, but still trying to figure it out.

-Haruhiist

Oh fucking wow

For some reason my Sri Lanka notes dropped out of my SS file, and LMS is down so I can't check the notes up there.

What the fuck?
What the bloody fuck?
What the flying bloody fuck?
What the bloody flying fucking fuck?

Ah hell. I only have 2 pieces of paper related to the test now. One is the Singapore Bonding worksheet we did just now in class, and the other one is a Sri Lanka type A question, 1 given factor and 2 other factors. Wish me luck guys.

By the way, does anyone object to bowling and cycling for the next outing? Bristan wanted something different and Dornel keeps fucking asking me if it's fine with me no matter how many times I tell him to check with Zong first.

-Haruhiist

Social Studies

Have an SS exam tomorrow on 2 topics. I haven't studied at all, I fell asleep at 7:50 while waiting for someone to msn me about the daily DotA game. Woke up at 8:20 or so and asked Thomas if they were playing already but as usual, no reply. Went back to sleep and woke up at 9:40. Realised I've lost 2 hours of time, haven't played a DotA game, and am perpetually cranky. Must do some rush studying eventually.

Despite the title, this post probably won't be all about Social Studies.

Feeling shitty recently. Sneezing, coughing, fucking cold, and a certain someone keeps talking to me about things I do not want to talk about. Still, I have to go to school because of the common tests. And my mother isn't in country so I can't really take a green form anyway. I do believe Mr.KT and Mr.ABS (bin Salim) already noticed my constant GF's.

Thought about my future for the first time in awhile today. I suppose next year I'll work a lot harder, get into ACJC and go into medicine. Yeah maybe for me it sounds impossible, and 'Dr.Sheep' or 'Dr.Tan Xuan' ran through your head right there, but I'm actually interested to a certain extent in medicine. I'd rather be a manga artist if I had to speak the real truth, but I'm not good enough.

...yeah...

-Haruhiist

Obligation

To keep my blog alive, this post is here.

So today I picked up my PSP from the shop, cost me a whopping $160. Dad gave me a lecture on money spending, so now I'm just thinking exactly how much money have I spend since the beginning of 2007. Probably over $8000. My next post, if I'm not lazy enough, will be dedicated to counting the amount of money I've spent. Anyway with my PSP back in my hands I finally can try Monster Hunter. I remember hating it back then, but since I heard Randall and Jon Wei talking about it so much I decided to give it another try. Right now I'm still fucking pissed at it because the learning curve is too fucking extravagant. Like, in the tutorial everything is easy, but when you take on the first easiest mission it's like fucking impossible because you have to fend off 6~10 bloody raptors. I've tried the mission with 3 different weapons and I've gone the furthest with Dual Swords. Guess I just need more practice.

The exams going on now but it's not really making a difference to me. Maybe because tomorrow is just chinese. Though I'll be studying for the Social Studies and Chemistry exams, probably a bit for A Math too but I think I'm royally fucked for that one anyway because I didn't pay attention at all. The way things are looking, I might have to drop A Math.

Achievements in the past week:
- Got my PSP
- Played MHFU without raging
- Finished Phoenix Wright JFA (Not sure if this happened before a week ago)
- Maplestory Bandit has reached Lv35 with decent equips
- Failed at life (Always checked)


Strangely my DotA skills have been taken away or something. The past week, although my team tends to be owning, I'm always fucking pathetic. Like just now, my maelstrom proc'd like 10 times in the whole damn game. Wtf? And I was underleveled and being farmed on by the enemies.

Ah fuck. Life sucks.

-Haruhiist

To-Do List

From highest priority to lowest priority:

- Redo my Banditsin for Maplestory (Fucked up the DEX stats)
- Do the 2 request I have for my deviantArt
- Watch Valkyria Chronicles anime episodes
- Play Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations
- Finish Valkyria Chronicles the game, again
- Study for upcoming exams
- Become better at DotA (I'm, honestly, better than the rest of you so... not very high priority)

...As you can see, my priorities are really fucked up and I'm screwed for my future.

Hurray for short-term gratification!

-Haruhiist

Phoenix Wright

Anyone who has a DS should play this game. Seriously. If you don't, you suck or you are an idiot. Probably both. It's the most epic game ever, I swear. It got me hooked onto my DS again, I play it nearly every day, and today I finished the 2nd game in the series (3 games that I know of, but I heard of a 4th game somewhere).

Basically you are a defense attorney who has to prove your clients innocence because they are. So you have to go around, examining crime scenes, talking to people, getting info out of them, and the best part is when you're in the courtroom. Presenting evidence, pressing statements, and generally destroying testimonials and finding the real villain which is usually one of the witnesses.

2nd game's ending was super awesome, making the decision between justice or saving a friend's life. Not that I know of any of you who has a DS anyway.

I'd buy a DS for this game though.

-Haruhiist

Tideturner

Was epic. 5v3, playing a underfat Meepo with a super fat BH, PA, Pudge on my team. Other team had Chen, Viper and SF. Scourge was pretty sad, only average farm, and they were being owned. My team Pudge wanted to switch but then change his mind, so they wanted to end. Out of pity, I switched over. Then, somehow, one way or another, the underfat Meepo carried the Scourge to win.

AHAHAHAHAHA.
That's a lot of bragging right there.

Fuck, I'm still failing E Math.

-Haruhiist

My recent battle

Just played against a Raffles Institution boy and won him. 12-5 Techies. Started having a verbal battle with him, as usual. Can't really say if I was winning or not, but he kept relating stupidity to having lousy memory (me).

Have a text file for anyone who wants a good laugh, at the expense of me or the other guy.
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ylm3jynnoij


Also; I have a 3day MC for having 'patterns' in my throat that somehow tells the doctor that I have flu. Hopefully Arzami will consent to me going to school tomorrow to take the English exam.

Hm.

-Haruhiist

----------------
Now playing: Hitoshi Sakimoto - Empty Loneliness
via FoxyTunes

how my mind works

Ah shit, convectional rainfall occurs when the ground is heated. The air parcels hovering over the ground expand, hence they become less dense. As a result, the air parcels rise. As the air parcel rises, it begins to cool until it reaches dew point, at which point it condenses to form clouds. When the clouds become too heavy, the water droplets fall as rain

...
I wonder what weapon I should try to use in MHFU... looking at Dual Swords, Greatsword and Gunlance...
...
NO WAIT, I need to focus on Geog right now!
...
I wonder if I should play DotA later..
...Hopefully I farm well...
...
FUCK, GEOG!
...
...
Need to check blogs, deviantArt and the fansubs sites.
GODDAMNIT.

-Haruhiist

god fucking damnit.

My geog books arent at home for one reason or another, my external is fucking with me so I can't install Microsoft Powerpoint to read the Geog slides.

I'm so fucking fucked up the proverbial asshole.
...
fuck.

-Haruhiist

Hm..

Went out to eat ramen and buy some computer accessories just now. Bought a USB-Extension thingy that adds on 3 USB ports to my computer, since one of the existing ones is broken. Also bought a phone for my room, so I have this bright red phone next to my computer now. Looked at a pink Vaio computer, specs looked nice. 4GB DDR2 Ram, Nvidia GeForce 9300M, 250GB HDD, the only problem I have is the whole Vista thing. No matter how pretty and glassy Vista looks, I'll prefer the Virus-laden XP. Made an attempt to convince my mom to buy or consider buying me the Vaio, which went for $1799. Failed.

Will try again sometime later on, when this lousy Fujitsu starts breaking down. It already is, but yeah.

Came home and did random shit. Currently playing Valkyria Chronicles because it's awesome. Just found out about news of Valkyria Chronicles 2. VC is awesome, each character out of the 50~60 in the roster have their own histories, backgrounds and personalities. There's even a short biography for each character, and they have individual voice actors, lines and death quotes.

Hopefully just because it's called 'Valkyria Chronicles 2: The Royal Gaug Academy' doesn't mean that it's going to be a lame school-mission thing where no one dies.

I liked VC1. I hope I like VC2.

-Haruhiist

Back from a War

A.K.A Festival of Arts.

Staying back everyday, skipping classes from Wednesday to Friday to sit in the SAC and sell tickets, it certainly was an 'exciting' experience. Though I did learn some things. For example, Keng Yeen has some serious anger issues, Zong is now very stoned - at least around me, and ACS(I)S people are relatively rude but really know how to have fun. Their 'last goodbyes' debrief was awesome, hell I couldn't even see it but it was fun to just listen to them.

Right now, thinking of playing DotA or Maple because I haven't played in 2 days since I went to Zong's house last night with Bristan and played GH: Smash Hits. Session had a somewhat.. solemn atmosphere. Even playing DaiTi (Tie-ti, TaiTi, Taitee, TyTee) was damn meh. Zong kept talking about his Baron-ship, Bristan didn't say too much and I kept getting stuck with hands comprising almost completely of cards under Jack (11).

Also; Dornel gave Darren's friend Krystal's friend Yi Chin my number. Since you said sorry, I don't really want to say anything, but what the fuck. Even if you're thinking like, something might happen, you should at least tell me. Giving away my number to random girls. What the hell.

Though, she was the poor victim of my boredom. Had a 3-sms conversation with her while sitting outside the CPA2 waiting for the performance to end.

Ah shit, I have E-Math homework, History homework, English homework and apparently A Math homework that I have to do, but I don't have the necessary materials to do any of them. Hope the teachers will understand lah.

Hm...

Best change for the FOA IMO: The Dragon (Mr. Brian Connor) going "NOMNOMNOMNOM" after eating Dr. Mollica. Seriously, caught me and Darren by surprise and made us laugh. Though, it only changed on the Sat. Afternoon show, so Fri. Night people didn't get to hear the Dragon nomnomnom the witch.

...

Damn, out of shit to say.

-Haruhiist